A Little Something Extra

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Attitude

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus." (Phil 2:5). My, isn't that a tall order?! It doesn't say, "as long as the circumstances are to your liking," or "as long as you feel justice is being served." There are no caveats. Here's the whole section of Phil 2:1-11

1 If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7 but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross!
9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Does righteous anger fit into this somewhere? How do we determine when it's okay to be angry? Jesus was pretty angry in the temple and that was okay. I'm afraid my attitude is not exactly Christ-like right now. Please pray for me.

Micah's feeding tube clogged last night around 9:00pm. We tried multiple things to unclog it. Micah's nurse was waiting for something to come from the pharmacy to use when I left at 10:30pm. I figured it would work. No such luck. It's like there's cement in his tubing. Nothing is working. We had to wait until 8:00am to page the on-service G-tube nurse. When she called back, she basically told Micah's nurse that there's nothing she could do that wasn't already tried, so we had to call interventional radiology. Between the calls to GI and radiology, we finally now are at least on radiology's radar screen to get Micah in for what will likely end up being yet another tube replacement sometime this afternoon. If this happened at home, I certainly hope it wouldn't take this long to get him in. At least he has an IV line and is getting IV fluids. But he hasn't gotten any food again since 9:00pm last night. So, we're losing ANOTHER DAY just waiting. We're in Children's Hospital prison. Where's the room with the padded walls? They'll need to put me in there soon.

11 comments:

our family said...

Jennie-
All I can say is am praying for you and sending hugs your way. May God give the doctors and surgeons wisdom in dealing with your precious little boy. Praying also that you get some rest. I am sure the stress of being pregnant and away from home on top of having a sick baby and a slow hospital staff would be enough to drive any mother nuts. Praying for peace and for you to know what to say and how to say it in a way that Micah's doctors and nurses can use the info to provide him better care.
Hugs and Prayers the Lenda's

MommySecrets said...

That's an incredibly tall order! It's a good thing that God doesn't expect us to be that good by ourselves! Thank goodness that He has given us his Holy Spirit to mold us to be more like him each day. It's not just you - it's HIM through you.

I would be angry too. I think it's okay and quite natural to be angry. I think our challenge is to respond in love regardless of our anger. So when we're angry, we have to step back and admit our anger, ask God to calm our spirits and beg him to give us grace to respond lovingly to the people and the situations that anger us. To ask God to give us the wisdom and discipline to rein in our anger instead of letting it explode. To practice expressing our anger calmly and gently with forgiveness and understanding.

But I've never been in your shoes - being angry because someone's not providing the absolute best care for my son. Being angry because my sweet innocent child isn't feeling better yet. Righteous anger is a whole different story.

I'll pray for you, and I'll pray that we can all learn from your struggles, and strive to have an attitude that is more like Jesus - even during the yucky parts of life.

Your rambling friend,
Ann

Anonymous said...

My question would be - are you angry or frustrated? It sounds to me like frustration over an entire system that doesn't work like we hope it would. And when a system is flawed, everyone gets to feeling like they're going stark raving nuts!!!
I'm sure the docs want to get Micah's tube replaced and get him on they way to being healthier, but due to other things on the IR schedule, they can't get in as soon as they want (and imagine that frustration multiplied by however many other patients each doc is caring for and all of the other ancillary services they are having to deal with)
The nurse can only do so much with the tube before needing to get meds from pharmacy - I'm sure she's frustrated - not only about not being able to fix the tube issue and give Micah what he needs, but she's having to wait on pharmacy to fill the order and send it and pharmacy has all sorts of orders that every department is wanting "yesterday".
It's hard to keep that in perspective when we have a loved one who is going through something that we have no control over. All we want is for our loved one to get better - and there's nothing wrong with that. Just as we can't control the illness, we can't control the system. It is so overwhelmed that severity takes priority (and rightfully so) but then everything seems to move at a snails pace for those not in acute crisis. Be thankful that Micah isn't in a situation that he needs IR immediately. It isn't life or death for him as it would be, say if he had a brain bleed they needed to find or has to have a dialysis catheter replaced keep from going into cardiac arrest.

Yes, getting things done for Micah in a timely manner IS important and as parents, we don't want to see our children go through anything that causes them pain or discomfort, but at the same time try and look at it from the perspective of "at least he's not sick enough to need any of this IMMEDIATELY".
I don't believe for a second that any of the delays are intentional or done out of someone being uncaring about what happens to your little angel - Micah is complex and has alot of issues that need to be taken into account - and unfourtunately, being in a teaching hospital, like it sounds as you are, it takes even more time for everyone to get all the issues sorted out.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is hang in there. Frustration/anger is normal, but Micah is also giving alot of new docs training that they wouldn't necessarily get anywhere else and in his (and His) way, helping them become better physicians and diagnostitians. What a wonderful gift from such a little soul!! May peace be with you, your husband and most of all, little Micah.

kayla said...

y enjoyed your posts best of luck

Anonymous said...

Micah is in our prayers and we definitely will keep you, Mark and Nathan in them as well.
Peace,
Danielle and gang

Jeanette said...

Wow, this is heartbreaking. I am praying for Micah and you all. God expects us to be the humans that we are, anger included. I think God welcomes honest communication with him, as well as looking to him for strength, and peace. Your precious Micah is hurting and your motherly love is protective. I pray for his healing, the doctor's wisdom and your peace.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear, how frustrating!!! It's time to break out of the prison cell! I remember feeling that way after only a week in the NICU. It almost sounds like they're trying to keep him...what next?! Well, all I can say is many prayers for Micah continue...thank you for all the updates. Kris (Erin's mom)

Connie said...

Hey Jennie~I have a friend who's little guy (newborn) is having a surgery today. The name is Kepp, Jenifer. She came on a retreat a few years back and I don't know if she would know me by name, but I am friends with her good friend Julie. I know you have a lot on your plate, but maybe if you ran into her, you could love on her, as you have already walked in her shoes. We will miss you and continue to uphold you before the throne of grace. Hang in there, hang in there.
Trusting in His Care,
Connie

Rachel said...

I am praying daily for this baby boy to get better and get what he deserves out of life.

I would be IRATE!

Rachel

Princess Abigail said...

Praying for you Jennie.
These are really difficult times for you.
Its difficult to believe this from where you are standing right now, but things do get better. Micah is having a shaky start but he's about to become Big Bold and Boystrous very soon.
Thinking of you lots and lots
Alison
The Bernard Bunch

Andrea said...

Prayers for strength are coming your way. I miss seeing Micah smile on Thursdays - hang in there. They have to figure this out pretty soon. How irritating......