Ultrasound

Ultrasounds are supposed to be fun experiences for couples expecting a baby. You see your little bean wiggling around, the ultrasound tech says fun things like, "Look at his cute little toes," you dream about the joy this little one will bring you...

I don't like ultrasounds anymore. We had one yesterday for the first time in five weeks (that's the longest we've gone during this pregnancy without seeing our little guy on the big screen). It seems like every time we go in, there is something else found that is wrong. When you ask the ultrasound tech about the baby's heart and you don't get a "looks great!" answer, you just know. They can't give you bad news... that's the doctor's job.

In a nutshell, the doctor told us that he thinks the baby has atrioventricular canal (AV Canal or AVC). We have an appointment with a pediatric cardiologist who will do a fetal echocardiogram of our baby's heart to confirm the diagnosis on 11/26 at Children's Hospital. This doesn't change the fact that he needs to have his intestines repaired the day after he's born. If he requires heart surgery, the desire is to delay it until he's 4-6 months old so that he can get bigger.

I just want to scream, "God, leave him alone! Doesn't he have enough to deal with?" But in the same breath I want to beg Him, "Please heal our boy!"

I'll share more about our day at Children's later. We never got around to our tour. No big deal... we'll be back.