A Little Something Extra

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Anxiety

"Do not be anxious about anything, ..." Philippians 4:6a

Seriously, God? I shouldn't be anxious about ANYTHING? Including surgery the day after he's born? Including him not being allowed to eat for days after his birth? Including open-heart surgery before he's 6 months old? Including him receiving a lifetime of stares of pity and condemnation? Including not knowing how I'm going to be able to teach him the things that have just come naturally for Nathan? Including whether I can sleep in the same room as Nathan in Milwaukee and pump every 3 hours without waking him up? Including whether I'm going to completely lose it while I'm in Milwaukee? (should I just go ahead and ask my OB for a Rx for Zoloft in advance?)

Being anxious is something I do quite well. So the next part of the verse is where I need to be living these days: "... but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." IT GETS BETTER... verse 7: "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Please pray for me that I will live in these verses every day.

9 comments:

Michelle said...

Hi -- you're in our thoughts every day. Please let us know if you need anything!

Liz said...

Oh Jennie.....What a WONDERFUL verse!! Keep it where you can see it at all times! He will see you through this!! I can only imagine how overwhelmed you are but I KNOW you will make it through!! You are such a strong woman and your faith is remarkable!! Hang on to it!! You are in my prayers as always!!

Anonymous said...

Hi Jennie, just wanted to let know I think about and pray for you everyday, stay strong!

Ann

Michelle said...

Jennie, you dont know me. I am a mom of a 9 year old little girl with DS. I know how scared you are, I was there once too.
I wanted to tell you that as afraid as you are right now, all of the emotions you are having are NOTHING compared to the ones you will have when you finally see with your own eyes the little person who is causing such a ruckus. It sounds dumb, but once he is in your arms, it will be easy to take these steps. You'll know how to do it, because you will be overpowered by love. Love blinds you to everything, it takes up all the places in your heart where fear currently resides, fills it so full that there is nothing left but love, hope, and faith. I promise you, you will be able to do this.
I also want to tell you that even though you are sure the world will see your new son with pity, and some might, the vast majority of them will see him in an entirely different light. It is very strange, like this light that draws people closer. Babies with DS have a gift for touching hearts. And Nathan is going to be blessed by this baby brother, too. My son is 12, my daughter 9, they are so close it hurts sometimes. I ache watching how tender he is with her, and laugh watching how normal they are. Again, thats love. You are in my prayers, hang in there.

ATLKrafts said...

I can relate relate relate to the anxiety thing, and there are most times when I look around and see that I have been provided for and do not lack anything. I guess the verse implies that we WILL have anxiety-provoking times, but that is why the 2nd half is left up to God. Thinking of you daily!

Tom said...

My parents were missionaries so I grew up learning another language. Maybe that's why I always like to search for the original intent of a word's meaning.

"Anxiety" is a loaded word. Means a lot of things to a lot of people. According to the original language, it probably means "that which causes us to be drawn in different directions."

Somehow, that makes it a little clearer for me. I'll have to look up the word "peace" next. :)

Maria said...

Regarding our children being stared at, this was one of my husband's first-voiced fears at the birth of Hendrik. He feared the world would be so cruel to our baby.

Hendrik is now 3 years old, and on the whole, we've found people's reactions to him to be warm and genuine. In fact, people are drawn to him. At times it is almost patronizing -- I know these complete strangers would never have stopped to talk to us if Hendrik did not have Down syndrome; however, these people are overflowing with genuine kindness and joy, and it is a blessing for our family to receive this added support and love for Hendrik.

There are two situations in which we have experienced direct staring, although both times I sensed it was out of curiosity versus condemnation or pity. When Hendrik was 2 years old, we spent a couple of weeks in Western Europe visiting relatives. People stared at us and Hendrik quite openly. However, we also understood that the Europeans are very direct with their eye contact to strangers, unlike Americans who go to great lengths to avoid it. In all the times we've visited Europe, we've never sighted a single individual with Down syndrome, so perhaps people were unused to seeing a family together with their child with DS.

The other situation was when we visited New York City. People on the streets, subway, etc. stared openly at Hendrik. Again, I sensed it was due to curiosity, and again, there are so many foreign tourists and residents of NYC that perhaps do not see individuals with DS in their own country.

We've not experienced staring in our local community. Our family is positive, socially active, and Hendrik is always with us whatever we do. We don't act as if anything is different about our family, we don't draw undue attention to ourselves or Hendrik, we don't tell everyone that he has Down syndrome.

On the other hand, I do often wonder how many people we cross paths with who may have either a hard-hearted or broken-hearted reaction upon seeing Hendrik with us -- the older generation who were routinely instructed by the medical field to institutionalize their babies, and the current generation of parents who choose to terminate the life of their unborn who has (might have) Down syndrome.

martilartsdiva said...

I can't even remember how I found your blog, but I want to cry, want to hold your hand, want to hug you. Your children, both born and unborn are so lucky to have you. I wish I had a magic wand that I could wave and grant your every wish and dream, but I can't, so I'll just have to be satified by seeing what wonderful people you are.

Julie Miller said...

Jennie,
I am trying to contact you and let you know that I am thinking about you. I would love to come and visit you at the Childrens Hospital in Milwaukee when you are here. I am only about 5-6 blocks away from there max. I hope that all is going well with you and Mark. I cannot think of two more wonderful people to be blessed with a little bundle of joy like your son will be to you when he arrives. He will be such a great addition to your already awesome family.